Being Phat in a Skinny Girl Fashion World

"Dear Diary: So today I only tried on 3 outfits instead of the normal 5, which is pretty good considering that I am bloated due to a visit from “You know who”. Being bloated really doesn’t help my already odd body type. Ok, picture this: I am average height for a woman, around 5’5”. I am not going to say my weight because; well…I am just not going to…LOL!!! Anyhoo, I am what they call full figured. I have the boobs, the hips and things to go along with it. The skinniest part on me, are my wrists. I tell you Ray Charles would have been mad at me if he dated women based on the size of their wrists. Ok…so along with the big boobs, thighs and hips. I have, for my size, an incredibly small waste but it has the nerve to sort of have a spare tire around it. Imagine that. So on this particular day, every single top I try on is drawing attention to my spare tire. Normally, I like a tighter sweater ‘cause it shows my small waste line, making me look slimmer altogether. But the old handy dandy turtle neck is not cutting it and it is black, so you know I am pitiful. The sweater is too big in the back and fitting very tightly around my stomach/spare tire, so that is a no!!! Next I decided on a regular button down shirt. I usually wear it inside of a jacket but today, I decided to try and wear it alone. Big mistake!!! The shirt was too short to be worn without the jacket. The shirt kind of sat on my behind and didn’t make it look to good….or small…which is what I am ALWAYS going for. Did I mention that my tail is rather large? So then I found another sweater. This is a button down sweater, almost like a blazer. I buttoned the top 3 buttons and had a t-shirt on underneath showing at the bottom. Somehow, because of the way the sweater opened up at the bottom, it made my waste look smaller. Finally a keeper…oh and all of this with a pair of jeans, but that is the easy part...."